Does Living Near Adult Children in Retirement Make Sense?

There are a lot of benefits to retiring, but one of the biggest is that you’ll have more time to spend with your loved ones. That’s a huge plus and something a lot of people look forward to once they’re no longer working.

If your children live far away from you, it gets a bit tougher to have as much family time as you’d like, however. You may not want to travel long distances and there’s a good chance your children are busy, as well, so they might not be able to see you as much as you’d both like. If you have small grandchildren, this can be especially challenging, since young kids aren’t exactly huge fans of long car trips or flights.

For all these reasons, many retirees think about moving and living near adult children. This can be a very positive decision, but it’s all always all goodness and happiness. There are potential downsides too. Understanding the pros and cons of each option can help you choose the situation that’s right for you. 

The Benefits of Living Near Adult Children

There are so many benefits to living near adult children in retirement. The first is more time spent with your children, and potentially your grandchildren, if you have them. This can be very rewarding and greatly enrich your life.

Having a built-in support system is a benefit as well. This matters for social connection, of course, but it can also be helpful to have family nearby as you age. Your adult children can help drive you places once you stop driving on your own. They can come with you to medical appointments. They can help you shovel snow or rake leaves. You adult children may also be able to bring you groceries or take you shopping. All of this help can make a world of difference when you get older.

The Potential Downsides

While there are a lot of pluses to living near adult children in retirement, you’ll want to also consider the possible negatives before you make a move.

One is giving up the lifestyle you know. Maybe you’ve lived in the same home for many years and moving somewhere else requires making pretty significant changes to your overall life. Your friendships, your daily routine, and your everyday life will all be altered by a move. This is especially important to think about if you currently live in a walkable neighborhood or somewhere that is close to health care. These are benefits in retiring and moving away from them can seriously impact your life.

There are also the costs. Moving costs money, even if you’re downsizing. Depending on where your adult children live, the cost of living may be higher as well. Increasing your monthly costs may not make sense when you’re on a retirement budget.

The costs continue if you’re spending time with grandchildren. There’s often an expectation that grandma or grandpa foot the bill if they’re taking the grandchildren out for the day. This can be fine if it only happens once in a while, but the expenses can add up if you’re living close by and planning a lot of outings.

There’s also the time required. Yes, living near adult children means more time with the family, but sometimes it can be too much. This is especially true when it becomes an expectation. If you’re nearby, you might become the de facto babysitter and be asked to take care of the grandkids whenever your children ask. They might see retirement as “doing nothing” and figure you have all the free time in the world. This likely won’t be accurate and, while you obviously love your family, you may not be able to drop everything and babysit whenever it’s needed.

Talking to your adult children about your lifestyle can be helpful. If both of you share your situation and your lifestyle expectations, that can make the process easier for both of you. It can also help avoid feelings of resentment or annoyance as well. 

If you have a spouse or partner, you’ll need to talk to them as well. Moving close to your adult children may benefit your lifestyle, but what does it mean for their children (if they have them)? Talk about what it means for their life as well. Not only will a move change their day-to-day experiences, but the move may shift your retirement expectations. Maybe they had plans to spend retirement traveling and so did you, but being close to grandchildren can change things. Having a real, honest discussion before a move is vital.