A Guide to Moving Closer to Adult Children in Retirement

One of the biggest benefits to retirement is that you have much more freedom to live the life you want. Your work life probably controls a lot of the rest of your life, whether you realize it or not. Not only does it set your schedule, but it frequently determines where you live. You don’t want to spend hours and hours commuting, so maybe you moved closer to your job, or to the highway, or to transit. There’s a good chance that you only live where you live because that’s where you job took you… or where you took yourself because that’s where jobs were.

Now that you’re out of the workforce, it could be a good time to move. 

Many people move in retirement because they want to downsize to a smaller home, or because they’d like a place that needs less maintenance, or they don’t want to walk up and down stairs several times a day, so they’d prefer if everything was on one floor. 

However, wanting to be closer to family is one of the main reasons that people move in retirement. This is especially true if you have adult children, and even more true if you have grandchildren!

That said, if you’re thinking of moving, there are a few things you’ll want to consider.

What to Consider Before Moving Closer to Adult Children

Moving is a big step financially, physically, and emotionally. It’s not something that you want to quickly rush into without much thought. Thinking about the entire process in advance can help you get ready for the change and better cope with the stresses. You’ll have a much happier time (and a happier life) if you think through the situation, rather than just move on a whim.

Selling the Family Home

There are many things to think about if you’re planning on selling your family home to move closer to your children. The first is financial. There are costs associated with selling a home, including real estate fees, taxes, and legal costs. You also may want to fix up the property before you sell it to get the best price. While doing so may pay off eventually, it’s still an upfront cost that you’ll need to consider.

Another cost to think of is the emotional cost. This can be very meaningful if you’ve lived in the home for a long time. It’s where you celebrated holidays, reached milestones, gathered together, and gone through a lot. Selling it won’t just change your life, but also the lives of your children and beyond. It can be a very emotional experience and one that you’ll want to be sure you’re ready for before you do it. 

Will a New Neighborhood Suit You?

Moving is a big change. If you’ve lived in the same neighborhood for many, many years, you might find it difficult adapting to a new area. It can be very exciting, and it’s a great opportunity to meet new people and try new things. However, that can also be tough and even overwhelming. You’ll want to think about what the new area will be like and how you’ll be able to live there.

Know that some areas are easier for seniors to live in, so it’s important to think about the future and what that will mean for you. Right now, you might be completely independent and able to drive yourself wherever you need to go, but that may not be the case in five, ten, or fifteen years. You’ll also need to think about finding new physicians, health care providers, and medical professionals. Does the new area have the people you need (both now and in the future)?

Take the time to compare your current neighborhood with your prospective new area to fully understand the pros and cons of each.

Where Will You Live?

Moving from your long-time home to a new property gives you a chance to live a different lifestyle. For instance, if you live in a large, multi-story house right now, you may want to consider a bungalow or a condominium apartment instead. That will probably mean less maintenance and fewer stairs. Moving to a smaller property could be helpful as well, since you’ll have less land to take care of.

There are, of course, financial aspects to all of this as well. Is the area you’re thinking of moving to more or less affordable than where you live now? What is the cost of living like? Should you buy another property or does renting make sense? You’ll want to think about all of these factors before you move.

Another option to consider is living with your children. This might mean moving into an extra room in their house, but it could also mean living in an additional dwelling unit (ADU) on their property. This can include a basement apartment, in-law suite, laneway house, or other dwelling. In these cases, there’s a lot to think about, including if you’ll be contributing financially in this situation and, if so, how much you’ll be paying.

You’ll also want to think about how this will change your daily life as well as the lives of your children. 

How Will It Change Your Life (and your Children’s Lives)

Moving to a new neighborhood, especially one that is far away from where you used to live, will change your life a lot. Yes, the physical places you’ll go will change, but it will also change your social situation. If you lived near many friends and connections, moving to a new place can be difficult. Yes, you’ll have your adult children near you, but you’ll also be giving up a lot.

The change will affect your children as well. They’ve probably built a life where they are and having you closer will alter that. This doesn’t mean they likely won’t enjoy having you nearby, but it will change how they live and they might be concerned about whether you’re going to change their routines. Of course, it could also make this easier for them as they won’t need to travel as far to visit you. It could help a lot as you age and find yourself needing more assistance, too.

Another lifestyle aspect you’ll want to consider is very relevant if you have grandchildren. If you do, there’s a good chance you’re moving closer to your children so you can also spend more time with your grandchildren. However, you’ll need to also think about what this means for your life. Are you going to help with caregiving or childcare? Will you be the “default babysitter?” Is this what you want? Is this what your children want? Each person is different and you’ll want to talk to your children about this to make sure you’re all on the same page before you move. 

Deciding to Move or Stay 

The decision to move (or not) is a unique one and you should do what’s best for your circumstances. A lot of retirees move when they leave the workforce, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to. When retirees do move, many of them want to live closer to their children, but that’s not always the right decision for everyone.

By weighing the different factors and really thinking about what life will be like (financially and emotionally, as well as day-to-day life) can help you decide if living closer to your adult children is right for you.