Adapting to the Lack of Routine in Retirement If You’re Neurodivergent

Your job gives your life a lot of stability and structure and you might not realize it until you retire. When you’re working, the time you wake up, the time you eat meals, the time you socialize, and the time you run errands are all determined (at least somewhat) by your job. 

Think about it: you set your alarm clock based on when you need to get up and get ready for work. You eat at times that make the most sense for your job. Your free time is determined by when you’re not working. When you retire, all of that changes.

This can be difficult for anyone, but it’s especially hard for those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) or autism. People who are neurodivergent often do best when they have consistency and routine. Keeping a strong structure in your life helps you avoid decision fatigue. Knowing what is going to happen, what is expected from you, and what the “rules” are can also help keep your brain calm. 

Order and predictability help manage your energy levels and prevent you from feeling uncertainty or distress. Leaving the traditional workforce changes things a great deal.

That means that, while the transition can be difficult for just about everyone, there are particular challenges for people who have ADHD or autism. 

Challenges of Retirement for the Neurodivergent

It’s important to note that no two neurodivergent people are the same. Each individual will have their own preferences, and they will feel comfortable or uncomfortable with different things. However, it is common for people who have autism or ADHD to struggle when there is a lack of routine.

For instance, ADHD can make organization and time management difficult. One reason why is that individuals might have trouble making decisions. When someone who has ADHD has to make a decision, there is a tendency to overthink or to get distracted by the options. Having a consistent routine eliminates many of the choices and decisions you need to make, helping the person focus on what they need to do.

Those who have autism often take comfort in predictability. When you have a good idea of what is going to happen next, it makes it easier to manage your daily life. Routines help you relax and avoid the cognitive load that is often associated with making decisions or facing uncertainty. 

Many people with ADHD or autism also find socializing difficult. They may have difficulty interpreting body language or tone (in autism) or might have trouble with small talk or conversation flow (with ADHD). Having more predictable social interactions can help. These sort of relationships are common in the workplace. You get used to your coworkers and learn to be comfortable around them. You typically don’t have to stress about what to talk about, because many conversations will be about work. When your work situation changes, so does your social life.

Now you’re not seeing people in the same place and the same circumstances each time. Sometimes your social life will be a coffee date at 11am and other times it will be a dinner at 6pm or a board game night in the evening. Again, the lack of routine is an issue but this time social situations are intertwined. As a result, many neurodivergent people struggle to maintain social connections after leaving the workplace. Again, this is common among many retired people, but it is often a bigger challenge for people with ADHD or autism.

How to Help Ease the Transition

Having several routines that you use throughout the day can be incredibly beneficial. For instance, you want to make sure that you have a morning routine. This means getting up at a consistent time, having breakfast, and using this time to focus on the rest of your day. One practice that many people find helpful is to use the morning to plan the rest of your day. 

The way you plan your routines should take into account when you feel the most relaxed, alert, and focused. Unlike the workplace, you’re in charge of your routine now, so you can make it work for you. 

Having an end-of-day routine is also important. Going to bed at the same time each night, for instance, isn’t just helpful for soothing anxiety and mental load, but it’s also shown to help you get a better sleep, which has many benefits. 

In between the morning routine and the evening routine is everything else you want to do in the day. This will be different each day, but it can help to set some firm times throughout the day to keep you moving. For instance, plan to have lunch at the same time each day.

Setting timers or reminders in your phone can help you stay on schedule. Give yourself time between tasks to transition and even plan for how you will handle the transition. This can make you day feel smoother and more comfortable. 

Know that you’re new routine doesn’t have to be as rigid as it was in the workplace. One of the benefits of retirement is that you can cater your days to how you are feeling. One some days, you may have more energy or capacity to focus than on other days. If your routine is too strict, there’s the temptation to view those days as failures. By building flexibility into your schedule, you can adjust your days as needed without completely losing structure.

Some people create different routines they can switch to when things are tough. Others make sure to provide space between activities that can be adjusted based on your focus on your energy. Whatever you decide to do, tell yourself that if things don’t work out as you expected, you can always adjust the plan and keep going.

For example, structure out the basic parts of your schedule like when you’ll wake up, when you’ll eat, when you’ll sleep, and a few things you want to do. Then, in the morning, decide how you’re going to fit the rest of your day around those aspects. This will help keep you on schedule without causing you to feel overwhelmed or anxious. 

Ideally, you should start planning your retirement structure before you actually retire. This will ensure that, as you step out of the workforce, you’re stepping to a new routine that you’re already aware of and comfortable with. This prevents feeling lost, confused, or stressed when you leave your job.

Structuring socializing into your routine is very important. There are many ways to do this. One is to participate in groups, classes, or organizations. If you find something that has regular meetings or gatherings, you can insert these activities into your routine quite easily. 

Even deciding to eat certain meals out every week can help. For instance, if you decide to get coffee at the same place on the same day each week, this routine can keep you mentally engaged without causing significant stress. 

Of course, the transition can sometimes be overwhelming. When things change and social situations are different, it’s easy to feel anxious or unsure of yourself. Easing into the routine can help. For instance, if you’re planning on joining a group or club in retirement, try going to it a few times while you’re still working. This will make it feel more familiar and comfortable. 

Volunteering or working part-time can help as well. Find an activity or a cause that matters to you and offer to help. Not only will this add consistency and routine to your life, but it will help your days feel more purposeful as well. Know that you can slow down or change your routine as needed. One of the benefits of retirement is flexibility and the opportunity to build the life you want. You don’t need to be perfect, and you don’t have to structure every moment of your life. Do what feels comfortable and what you enjoy. If you create plans and they cause you stress or anxiety, you can change them. Take a step back and move more slowly. You can always revisit some of your other plans later when you feel more comfort