
Caregiving Tips for Retirees
A reality for many retirees is that they’ll end up becoming a caregiver at some point in their lives. Usually, this means caring for a spouse or partner. Everyone ages differently and some people will require additional care as they get older.
While caring for someone else can be very rewarding and even potentially strengthen some aspects of your relationship, it can also be difficult, both physically and emotionally.
Your Changing Relationship
If you’ve been with your partner for a long time, your relationship has likely changed a lot over the years. The way you lived and the things you did when you were young are probably quite different from your retirement lifestyle. However, when one partner requires significant care, this is a major change that affects things quite a lot.
One thing to remember is that, even if they now require significant care, they are still your partner and the person you love. Whenever possible, try to still do some of the things you enjoy doing together. This can understandably be tough, but if it’s possible, it can help your relationship and your state of mind. It’s tough when your spouse becomes very different from the person you spent the rest of your life with, so anything you can do to strengthen the connection between the two of you can be very helpful.
Caring for Yourself
Of course, while some aspects of caregiving can be fulfilling and rewarding, it can also take a significant physical, mental, and emotional toll on the caregiver. Caring for a spouse is hard and, in many cases, it’s a full-time job. Depending on their situation, you may need to care for them 24/7. This can be hard on anyone, but it is especially difficult when it is your spouse.
For some, it’s hard to see someone you love in a situation where they require care. This can be emotionally draining and zap your energy, which is probably already low due to the work you’re putting in.
These feelings are compounded by several other possible feelings, and that can have a significant negative effect on your health and mental state. Some people may feel overwhelmed by their role; others might be resentful that they aren’t living the life they’d hoped. Of course, these feelings are almost always accompanied by guilt. You want to be there for your partner, but it’s also very tough. Many caregivers feel trapped between these conflicting emotions.
It’s vital that you remember to care for yourself, even while you are caring for someone else. It’s understandable that you want to provide the best care, but your health matters as well. Plus, if you are run down or emotionally drained or physically spent, you won’t be able to provide the best care. So, you’re helping both yourself and your spouse when you make your wellbeing a priority.
Get enough rest, eat well and stay hydrated, take time to do things that you enjoy, and remember that you matter as well. It’s easy to let “being a caregiver” not only consume your entire life but also take over your entire identity. Be sure to do things that will help you remember that you’re an individual and you need care as well.
Getting Caregiving Help
One of the best things you can do to care for yourself is to get help with caregiving.
Caring for a spouse is often made tougher by the fact that most partners provide most of the care by themselves. A lot of people feel like it’s their responsibility to do all the caregiving. You may feel like you made the decision to be with your partner for life and, therefore, you should be the one caring for them.
Many people also feel like they provide the best care, and so they do it all themselves because they want the best for their spouse. They know their partner better than anyone and there’s a good chance their partner is most comfortable with their spouse caring for them.
These are very noble and understandable feelings. However, caregiving is very emotionally and physical difficult. As mentioned, it takes a serious toll on you. You should not feel bad about getting help. Remember, caring for yourself is the best way to care for your spouse as well.
Join a support group, either in person or online. These groups can help you access valuable resources, provide you with moral support, and help you get answers to your most difficult questions.
Talk with friends and relatives as well. They may not realize how much you are doing or how much it is affecting you. Many people feel like they should keep their situation private, either out of respect for their spouse or because they don’t want to bother others. However, all this does is make it more difficult. Many people will be more than happy to help if you let them know what you need, and you’d be surprised at how helpful even the smallest things are. Even a small amount of help every so often can lift a lot of weight off your shoulders.